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Competitiveness may be instinctual and is certainly reinforced in children as they vie for position, approval and success in their family, in school, and in non-academic endeavors such as sports, music, and even video games. As adults we also find ourselves believing that being competitive will bring us achievement and success. Our litigious society suggests that people think that they need to challenge others and resolve problems by using confrontational procedures such as grievances and law suits. These social dynamics often discourage inclinations toward collaboration - which is the opposite of competing. [13x]

Collaboration is not the same as cooperation, though these terms are often used interchangeably in literature regarding methods of effectively working together. Cooperation suggests that those involved choose to interact in a supportive and helpful manner. That in itself is not collaboration. Cooperation can be a dynamic in three of the Thomas-Kilmann conflict modes - collaborating, compromising and accommodating. It is not an element of the other two conflict styles - competing and avoiding. Therefore individuals may demonstrate cooperation when they are in the process of compromising to reach a 'middle ground'. One party may also cooperate when he/she chooses to acquiesce and accommodate to the desires of the other because the issue is not worth struggling over. Neither of these forms of cooperation are collaboration as the outcomes are not win/win.

Effective Use of Collaboration

Collaboration is high in assertiveness and high in cooperation working best when the issues at stake, and the quality of the relationships, are important to both parties. This can occur in personal or family problems, workplace interactions, and business contracts.

Due to the amount of time, effort, trust, and cooperation involved in this process it is usually only recommended when the nature of the problem is considered to be highly important. When this is not the case other forms of conflict resolution - competing, compromise, accommodating, or avoiding - may be more appropriate and successful.

A willingness to trust and openly listen to alternative ideas and views is essential for collaboration to be successful. Participants must be focused on an outcome that is desirable for all concerned and not just on their individual goals. Efforts by participants to support and confront proposals with integrity and respect can create an atmosphere that will ultimately result in an outcome that everyone can actively support. Sometimes it is helpful to have an independent third party facilitator to manage this process and constructively move it forward. [13x]

Techniques and skills that facilitate collaboration will enhance the success of this process. Consider use of the following:

Clarification that the parties involved have an interest in using a collaborative process to work out the problem

Ensuring that there is adequate time and appropriate space for the meeting

Stating the situation as a mutual problem