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s on the future that grows
ever closer to being within reach.
After: I have pursued all my research and volunteer work with relentless energy and clear
focus. To this program I will bring the same sense of determination that has made my once
distant goals now close within my reach.
The total word count remains the same, but the ideas are now much clearer and more fully
fleshed out.
Before: Having long been interested in a career in law, which will allow me to combine my
analytical thinking skills with the pursuit of social justice, I now feel that I have accumulated the
necessary experience and education to begin a formal pursuit in this field, with X school
offering the best curriculum for my needs.
After: A career in law will allow me to combine my analytical thinking skills with the pursuit of
social justice. Having accumulated the necessary experience and education, I now look
forward to pursuing my long-held interest in law at X school, which offers the best curriculum
for my needs.
Oversimplified: A career in law will allow me to combine my analytical thinking skills with the
pursuit of social justice. I have accumulated the necessary experience and education. I now
look forward to pursuing my long-held interest in law at X school. X school offers the best
curriculum for my needs.
As you can see, the second version still includes a complex sentence, but separating one
clause makes the ideas much clearer. We are not by any means advocating the extreme
simplicity of the third version. It is oversimplified not only because it sounds choppy, but
because it has removed certain textual relationships that were in the original--most importantly,
"Having accumulated --> I now look forward."
Varying Constructions
Sentence variety is not just a matter of length; a well-paced piece of writing will vary its
sentence constructions as well. Everyone can recognize what's wrong with the following:
"I walked into the room. The patient looked up at me. I greeted him with a smile. His eyes
brightened."
Most people, however, would write something like the following without realizing their error:
"Having entered the room, I saw the patient look up at me. Sensing his discomfort, I tried to
ease his concerns by greeting him with a smile. Appreciating my gesture, he responded with
glowing eyes."
Every sentence starts with a present participle (a verb + "ing" --> adjective), states the subject,
and gives the predicate. The following is a revision:
"I saw the patient look up as I entered the room. Sensing his discomfort, I tried to ease his
concerns by greeting him with a smile. Although his brightening eyes showed that he
appreciated my gesture, pain prevented him from responding any further."
The first sentence now starts with the subject, and the third sentence introduces a new kind of
dependent clause with the conjunction "although."
If you have trouble finding ways to vary your sentence constructions, try some of the following
basic ideas:
1. Combine two short sentences into one compound sentence:
"The game had just started, and our seats gave us a perfect view."
2. Use prepositional phrases, and vary their location:
"With only an hour left to finish, I knew I had to focus."
"I knew I had to focus, with only an hour left to finish."
3. Use the many conjunctions available to you--however, when, while, as, bec本论文由英语论文网提供整理，提供论文代写，英语论文代写，代写论文，代写英语论文，代写留学生论文，代写英文论文，留学生论文代写相关核心关键词搜索。