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y put up with these depressing, unsanitary conditions instead
of trying to improve their surroundings. Ferooza's answer shocked me, but in retrospect I
realize that to her, life after Afghanistan held no meaning. Her words still ring in my ears:
"After the Soviets left, we thought we could finally be a free people. How wrong we were!" She
laughed bitterly. "The Soviets were nothing compared to the Taleban. I had a job then, a family
then, a life then. Under the Taleban I have nothing. They stoned my son in front of me -- for
listening to music! My daughter--" she started sobbing, and I held her. "They raped her in front
of me," she continued. "She was just fifteen. The local Mullah said that his men were not at
fault. He claimed my daughter had acted promiscuous by not wearing a veil and had gotten
what she deserved." At this point, Ferooza broke down, and I found myself unable to hold back
my own tears.
I didn't go back to the camp for a long time after I meet Ferooza -- I couldn't face the horrors.
When I finally regained the courage and returned to the camp, I was told that Ferooza had died
just a few weeks earlier; the other women whispered that she simply lost the will to live.
My sadness is accompanied by a fear that such brutalities will become matter-of-fact. But I
have developed a firm conviction: I want to do something to help these women -- not hide from
them, as I did with Ferooza. I am determined to make a difference, and now I know that even
individual effort makes a world of difference.
Being Offbeat
This type of approach is risky, but because it has the potential to be so effective, it is worth
considering. The same warnings apply here that we enumerated for humor in the Tone section.
Try to be subtly and creatively clever rather than outrageous.
This applicant begins with a joke about his prospective institution: "You'd think I would have
had my fill of Indiana winters. But, here I am, applying to go back, ready to dig my parka out of
storage. It's not like I've been gone long enough to forget the cold, either. In some ways, I feel
as if that permacloud is still hanging over me." The introduction goes on to make some jokes
about the applicant's potential concerns. These musings don't serve much of a substantive
purpose except to establish the writer's familiarity with the school. On the other hand, they do
make the reader more comfortable with the writer's style as he goes on to make more serious
points.
Sample Essay
This applicant immediately engaged the reader with a witty and almost conversational style,
then segued gracefully into a Statement of Purpose.
You'd think I would have had my fill of Indiana winters. But, here I am, applying to go back,
ready to dig my parka out of storage. It's not like I've been gone long enough to forget the cold,
either. In some ways, I feel as if that permacloud is still hanging over me. I graduated this past
May, and I think my toes just stopped tingling a couple of weeks ago. But I can deal with the
winters. I can handle the Hoosiers. I don't mind if the football team loses even more games
next year.
So, why come back to my alma mater? To be honest, I'll never fit the profile of the plaid-clad,
legacy-bred alum who looks back on his/her undergrad experience as "da best four years of
my life." I do, however, feel very grateful for the education. I majored in Engl本论文由英语论文网提供整理，提供论文代写，英语论文代写，代写论文，代写英语论文，代写留学生论文，代写英文论文，留学生论文代写相关核心关键词搜索。