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missions officers can easily refer to the rest of the application for more detail on his other involvements. This writer also does a good job of showing his love for the cello by painting a picture of himself playing: "totally relaxed, I sway back and forth to the rhythm created by my bow and my fingers; both of my arms work in harmony. Eyes closed, I reach the final note and my left hand creates a slow, soothing vibrato?" This image is likely to be the one that sticks in admissions officers minds, making him more memorable.

Introduction

Leading sentence: "It took me eighteen years to realize what an extraordinary influence my mother has been on my life."

Summary of main points: "I not only came to love the excitement of learning simply for the sake of knowing something new, but I also came to understand the idea of giving back to the community in exchange for a new sense of life, love, and spirit."

First Supporting Point

Transition sentence: "My mother's enthusiasm for learning is most apparent in travel."

Supporting point: Her mother's enthusiasm for learning.

Evidence: Learning through travel by using the example of a trip to Greece.

Second Supporting Point

Transition sentence: "While I treasure the various worlds my mother has opened to me abroad, my life has been equally transformed by what she has shown me just two miles from my house."

Supporting point: Her mother's dedication to the community.

Evidence: Her multiple volunteer activities such as helping at the local soup kitchen.

Conclusion

Transition sentence: "Everything that my mother has ever done has been overshadowed by the thought behind it."

Reiteration of main points: "She has enriched my life with her passion for learning, and changed it with her devotion to humanity."

Taking it one step further: "Next year, I will find a new home miles away. However, my mother will always be by my side."

COMPLETED ESSAY

It took me eighteen years to realize what an extraordinary influence my mother has been on my life. She's the kind of person who has thoughtful discussions about which artist she would most want to have her portrait painted by (Sargent), the kind of mother who always has time for her four children, and the kind of community leader who has a seat on the board of every major project to assist Washington's impoverished citizens. Growing up with such a strong role model, I developed many of her enthusiasms. I not only came to love the excitement of learning simply for the sake of knowing something new, but I also came to understand the idea of giving back to the community in exchange for a new sense of life, love, and spirit.

My mother's enthusiasm for learning is most apparent in travel. I was nine years old when my family visited Greece. Every night for three weeks before the trip, my older brother Peter and I sat with my mother on her bed re本论文由英语论文网提供整理，提供论文代写，英语论文代写，代写论文，代写英语论文，代写留学生论文，代写英文论文，留学生论文代写相关核心关键词搜索。