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and original essay.
Elsewhere, rather than make radical (and unnecessary) structural changes, I concentrated on refining your language, highlighting your most interesting ideas, and streamlining the logic of your arguments.  Many of these changes are quite subtle, but they have a powerful impact on the overall flow of the text.
I rephrased passages that contained  awkward English, eliminated words that seemed extraneous or repetitive, and in a couple of spots varied the vocabulary and the length of sentences.
I took notes on the more substantial changes (they do not reflect nearly all the changes), as well as certain passages that you might want to consider elaborating on (by paragraph):
NOTES
General
Some of the paragraphs were unnecessarily long. I broke them up into separate paragraphs.
P1
RE: " He argued that, when a civilization adopts reading and writing as the chief form of social communication, it truly frees itself to forget its own values, because those values no longer have to be part of a lived reality in order to have significance."
You might want to consider rewriting this sentence to make the meaning a little clearer -- I found it rather confusing, perhaps because you are trying to convey an epiphany involving a rather complicated concept in a single sentence.  This might, of course, be not much of a problem for an academic well-versed in such theories, but in general it's good to set layman's comprehension as your standard for clear writing.
P4
Are you sure you don't need to identify p'Bitek?  Is it safe to assume that your readers will all know who he is?
P5
I added a paragraph.  As I mentioned earlier, what was missing in the essay was your take on your work experience, and the challenge there was how to bridge the gap from your otherwise highly theoretical/academic explanations with the more concrete stuff (especially why you left academe to work for a while, and why you now want to go back to the books).  I tried to make the transition smooth by connecting the two ideas, especially at the beginning of this paragraph.  Since I have no idea what you have done since you graduated, or for how long, I simply plugged in randomly made-up info. ( Well, not so random, actually -- it's what I myself used to do before I left my own dynamic, high-pay-prospects job to attend grad school.)
P6
RE: "...methods of inquiry  can be formulated that allow for the interpretation of works that are both technically sound and sociologically insightful" 
This part of the sentence was very confusing.  Do you mean that the *interpretation* itself would be technically sound and sociologically insightful, or that those methods of inquiry would allow for the interpretation of sound, insightful works?  If you mean the latter, why do you need to characterize the words as sound and insightful?  Shouldn't the emphasis be on the quality of the interpretation?
Sorry if I sound like a broken record, but it gives you a sense of how badly the phrase needs clarification.
RE: "I also seek to increase my knowledge of African languages, which will allow me to study the lingering cultural impact of colonialism in modern day African literatures written in European languages."
This sentence was also confusing.  If you are going to study literature written in European languages, why do you want to learn African languages?  I have no doubt本论文由英语论文网提供整理，提供论文代写，英语论文代写，代写论文，代写英语论文，代写留学生论文，代写英文论文，留学生论文代写相关核心关键词搜索。