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College Essay -college essay sample -留学essay代写- Business Program Application: Edited Essay + Critique [59]

论文作者:英语论文网论文属性:论文指导登出时间:2011-08-19编辑:anterran点击率:84370

论文字数:2144论文编号:org201108191647115865语种:英语 English地区:澳大利亚价格:免费论文

关键词:College Essaycollege essay sample留学essay代写Business Program ApplicationEdited Essay

摘要:College Essay -college essay sample -留学essay代写Essay 代写- Business Program Application: Edited Essay + Critique的相关搜索college essay sample write college essay college essay topic essay

are both technically sound and sociologically insightful. My studies thus far have concentrated largely on African and Caribbean literatures in general terms, and I am very interested in studying these parts of the world in more specific national historical and cultural contexts. I also seek to increase my knowledge of African languages as a tool to study the lingering cultural impact of colonialism in modern day African literatures written in European languages. My faith in the tangible power of the written word that led me into the study of literature as a young student is my driving force today and will be for the foreseeable future. My ultimate goal is to gain the knowledge and tools necessary to illuminate that power to others.
I believe the Modern Thought and Literature program at Stanford is uniquely positioned to guide me in reaching these aims. I was thrilled to find a program that approaches world literature with a cross-disciplinary focus, recognizing that the written word has the potential to be an entry point for social and cultural inquiry. The level of scholarly work that the department has produced also excites me about my hopeful future there. In particular, the work of Akhil Gupta, especially in Culture, Power, Place, was one of my first and most important experiences with the field of cultural anthropology. His complicating of the traditionally drawn local, national and foreign realms through the discussion of post-colonial displacement and mixed identifications first led me to believe that comparative literature's focus on national and linguistic borders was fairly arbitrary in the modern world. Much more significant is the accurate rendering of individual lived realities that may then be synthesized with other experiences. I believe that I could greatly benefit from his teaching and guidance in applying these ideas to the literary arena. I am also eager to learn from many other scholars in the department, contribute to a vital academic and practical discourse, and venture down paths that I may, as yet, not have imagined.

Critique
Click Here for the Edited Version.
Dear XXX,
You are, no doubt, a strong and vivid writer, yet the essay did indeed contain a few weak points, as well as a number of information gaps.
The personal statement was structurally solid, but your tendency to "over-write" sentences times obscured the meaning of what you were trying to express.  You managed to pack a lot of information into the piece; my job, then, was to draw on this information in order to clarify your ideas by both refining your language and shoring up your arguments.
Regarding the info gaps: there were a number of questions that popped into my head as I read your essay.  Naturally, the answers to some of these will be clear from the remainder of your application, but as a rule of thumb (and for the sake of clarity) it's best to make the essay as self-contained and thorough as possible.
When did you graduate, and what have you been doing since? Why did you take this job?  How does this experience relate to your academic experiences and goals? What degree program are you applying to? Why do you want to pursue this degree?  Do you want to become a professor? 
In revising your essay, I attempted to blend in answers to these questions into the text. I left blanks here and there where you should fill in simple facts, but in general I tried to extrapolate answers from your note论文英语论文网提供整理,提供论文代写英语论文代写代写论文代写英语论文代写留学生论文代写英文论文留学生论文代写相关核心关键词搜索。

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