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论文作者:留学生论文论文属性:职称论文 Scholarship Papers登出时间:2017-12-08编辑:quanlei_cai点击率:10818
论文字数:论文编号:org201712081728243296语种:中文 Chinese地区:中国价格:免费论文
Retreating glaciers, drought,foreign disease: far too many tragedies prove we have a debt to pay to ourincredible planet, a duty to evolve society around sustainable ways of life.The thought of studying issues of such overwhelming importance fills me withawe. I cannot wait to be in a community where my enthusiasm is shared byexperts who have the knowledge, resources and experience to help me flourish.
It was during an English lesson that I stumbled upon this unforgettable omen: “The sedge is wither’d from the lake, and nobirds sing.” These poignant words, by the poet Keats,were even credited in Rachel Carson’s revolutionary ‘Silent Spring’. However, I’m glad to say: Mr. Keats, I disagree. Humanity has not yet renderedyour prophecy true. Through university, I hope to take my first steps to helpsteer the world from the clutches of devastation, before it is too late.
点评:
1. 第一段用了形象的比喻,阐述申请者对环境的深刻认识,同时显示不错的英文功底;
2. 申请者在全文中用了不少比喻,使文章生动且与众不同;
3. 申请者谈了关于生物、科学实验技能、英国文学的学习,展示了多样的知识架构;
4. 讲了自己参加与环境相关的志愿实践推迟入学的小故事,选择非常好;
5. 为了平衡内容,谈了奖学金、烹饪和跳舞,然而这一段描述过于刻意,“ Balancing this with my other endeavours such as……”不应该在文中明确表示出来。
6. 最后,首尾呼应,展示了一种积极乐观和自信的面貌。
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