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论文作者:留学生论文论文属性:报告 Report登出时间:2011-02-12编辑:anterran点击率:9861
论文字数:1449论文编号:org201102120922592409语种:英语 English地区:美国价格:免费论文
关键词:Improvingovernight businessMiel BrasserieIntercontinental Bostonreport Business Improvement Project
Appendix I. Grading sheet – report Business Improvement Project
Student: Date: August 27, 2009.
Title of project: Improving overnight business of Miel Brasserie in 代写留学生论文Intercontinental Boston
Comments IH&OM mentor
Cover page, title page
Acknowledgements
Abstract / Table of contents
List of tables, figures, appendices
General presentation
Correct English grammar & spelling Cover page and Preface: Bachelor of Science must be Bachelor of Business Administration (very important that you know this, for your CV an application letters!);
English: very poor; the English of the last parts of the BIP is better than the first parts, that are not suited to be read by American managers, many sentences contain errors which is very fatiguing to read, and sometimes not understandable. Is this the language of a Bachelor of Business Administration?
Ex. Summary: 1at alinea: please no mentioning of content table, skip this.
Don’t give final solutions in the description of the problem statement (skip everything after “However”).
P. 4, second last alinea: overnight business doesn’t need to be implemented, because it’s already there. . Scratch “a lot of”.
You made an introduction, not an Executrive summary. An executive summary is a summary of the whole BIP in 2 or 3 A4. Skip details and names of hotels other than ICB.
Introduction
Coherent introduction to issue
Relevance of the work
Context of the work
External / internal analysis Please stick to the content of the Introduction as mentioned in the left column. Take also parts of the content of your current Executive Summary to make up the Introduction.
Mention sources of Mission and Vision.
Quintessence Analysis is by far insufficient. It’s ridiculous to mention the Unions as the only reason for having a HRM policy. Didn’t you read Dessler, the HRM book on your list?
Technology perspective: leave out remarks about glass and granite. Simply tell that all technology is “state of the art”.
Financial Perspective: OK that you limited yourself to the F&B. P. 8: why 100% increase in revenue? Give reasons. P.9: table 2: “Expecting cover chart” must be “targeted covers chart” (with an s because there are more than 1 cover). (expecting means that the chart is expecting something, and charts cannot expect things, only humans can expect something. Small errors are not an issue, but many small errors make a report unreadable. I wouldn’t read this BIP if I weren’t a teacher, because after two pages I would be tired.
Marketing perspective: Pffff! What a lot of irrelevant details!! Please leave them out and come up with info about the important competitors, if and how they offer overnight F&B service (you did that further in your BIP, why not here too) and maybe a positioning chart. Leave also out any promotional texts such as “Celebrity chef Jacques Chibois, world-renowned 2-star Michelin chef etc. This is BIP, not a brochure!!
The SWOT diagram is (a) not based on resources and (b) not correct: Strengths and weaknesses are internal, and Opportunities and Threats are external. “add non-alcoholic cocktail” is not external, and far too much a tiny detail, doesn; t beloing in a SWOT. Make checklist and discuss it with a manager to mkake a good SWOT. And make clear that it’s a hotel-SWOT, and not a Miel SWOT (number of seats don’t belong in a hotel SWOT.
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